if I could bottle this I would

The weekend has ended, and it's 21 days until I leave for Africa, and 6.5 until I see him again.

How did I manage this? To find myself smack dab in the middle of a cross-continental romance? Did I seek it out? Did I send some signal to the cosmos that sent me the most delightful yet locationally challenged beau? I'll try not to get ahead of myself - this is making it all sound as if the location is a problem. It's not, well not yet.

In the spectrum of a relationship we are still early in the getting to know each other process. We can talk for hours about where we've been, who we've been with, what we've done. There's an effortlessness to this - the bearing of that from where we come, that's pure refreshment. And in between the words and the shared experiences there's this softness, an unexplainable desire to know more, to respond to the hurt or the potential for joy with hurt or joy of my own. I want to think that this feeling is what love is built on - and yet I'm startled to find it so soon. But perhaps that's the benefit of distance - for the few times we've had together have been full to the brim of that which most relationships spread over many a dinner.

On Saturday I took him to a Chinese New Year party at a friend of a friend's. We made traditional dumplings and read our fortunes (I'm year of the monkey, he's year of the rabbit). We watched as my roommate had her Tarot cards read, and I decided to have mine done as well (for the first time in my life). I've never had anything against Tarot, but as a Christian I've always tried to guard myself against practices that could challenge the role of the divine. Watching the first reading I realized that tarot is very open to interpretation, and the person doing the readings was very careful to acknowledge and encourage the person's individual faith when relevant cards were drawn.

So I sat, with the Frenchman at my side, and informed the reader that I had recently made some major decisions and was looking at a variety of opportunities and possibilities for my life, and am looking for ways to make decisions and know in which direction I am to go.

The first card she drew was The Sun, and the last was The Earth. I don't know Tarot techniques but after she'd placed all the cards she had me draw one final card from a separate deck - I drew The Mother Earth. So as I looked at the cards in front of me I saw light and the big picture - and as she navigated what she said was one of the best reading she can remember doing, she said over and over, "you're in a good place. What can I say, you're in a great place!" She noted that while I will depend on my support system (and acknowledged my blessing in having one) this year, it will be a year of successes. There will be some disappointments factored in, but they should be looked at simply as opportunities to turn lemons into lemonade. Most importantly, she emphasized the importance of taking time for myself, of seeking guidance from God and being in touch with my faith to have the strength and the clarity to achieve all that is possible in my future.

When she was almost done, she came to a card, looked at the two of us and asked us what kind of a relationship we had. We giggled and informed her that we were just getting to know each other. Then she told me that card suggests the man in my life will be a very important encouragement and support to me this year. Interestingly enough, when the Frenchman had his reading done, he had a different card that she said could be interpreted one of two ways. Either it meant that the creative force in him (he's a musician) would be seriously impacting his life this year and guiding him in new directions, or a new woman would have the same affect of drawing out his creative side and helping him close certain chapters in his life.

All in all, we left with more than a little food for thought - which was more or less par for the course this weekend. In the most delightful of ways, of course.