Thursday, July 13, 2006

Got Game?

The theme of the last week seems to be all about breaking into your friend's inner circles for some action. I played into this a bit by upping the flirtation with a close friend's brother, and she in turn is getting together with a long-time friend who might as well be my brother. While alcohol played a large part in my willingness to indulge in my secret crush, part of what spurred her interest in pursuing my friend was seeing him and realizing that in her eyes, he's a bit more attainable than he was in high school - meaning he's no longer the chiseled football/baseball specimen of '98 (when she last saw him). He's rounded out a bit and she likes to joke that this puts him more in her league. While I don't agree with breaking things down like that in the first place, this whole conversation prompted my brother and sister-in-law to exclaim that she's the one that's out of his league, as he "has no game." Their reasoning stems from some conversations they had with him regarding his recently exed girlfriend. Apparently, he just didn't understand that she would want to, say, have dinner together sometimes, at her apartment no less. Somehow that was too much for him to take into account, and they felt his overall girl-meter was seriously off for someone his age (26).

This long diatribe leads to my thoughts on what it means for a guy to have game, as this would be the type of guy I would ultimately be attracted to and looking for in the long-haul (not a huge priority right now, but someday I'm sure I'll get serious about things!). I think having "game" probably varies from person to person - but it's unfortunately a very fine line that guys must walk (often unknowingly) between being totally clueless to a girl's wants/needs -or- being overly attentive to them (and thus appearing to be a complete suck up) -or- being too cliche/generic in their attention (and thus seeming disingenuine, even when doing the right things) -or finally- doing the right things for all the wrong reasons (as in, sure, I'll bring dinner, I better get a guaranteed night of sex/football/drinking etc.). Thing is, when a guy gets it right - provides enough attention to a girl's individual needs, plays the romance card a bit, maintains a level of confidence without being cocky, makes himself emotionally available but doesn't turn into a complete sap or codependent - a girl will do almost anything for him (and if she's got game, it will bring out the best pieces of her as well). That's true "game" to me - and it is unfortunately in exceptionally short supply these days...


Blogger Me:The Sequel said...

I find that dating, and in fact relating in general has become too concious and contrived. The naive part of me screams in protest sometimes: "Why can't we just be ourselves?" More importantly, learn to attract people who accept us completely?

True, some game-playing can be fun, but, ultimately it's about being with one "before whom you may think aloud."

I have learned that lesson the long, hard way.

Sorry about my prattling on. Like your blog!

7/14/2006 11:22 AM  
Blogger Mood Indigo said...

So true, which I've learned since I started to make a conscious effort to do this 'dating' thing. While someday I can look back on my life (hopefully with my perfact match beside me) and know that I gave it a try while I could, I don't really think it's for me. The space to think out loud (I love that) isn't easy to manufacture via internet dating, set-ups or exchanging numbers - it's too organic for us to have that much control over - so I think while waiting for kismet to take over, we just fill the time with this other stuff.

Feel free to prattle - everyone else just reads :)

7/14/2006 2:13 PM  
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7/20/2006 4:16 AM  
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7/21/2006 11:53 AM  
Blogger b said...

Can I quote this please? Full credit to you, of course - let me know!

8/08/2006 8:48 PM  
Anonymous blogless said...

As a guy it's nice to see that some women can appreciate how difficult it can be for us sometimes. Not to say it's a walk in the park for women, I'll take dealing with women over dealing with men anytime!!! ;)

From my experiences I think I would define the word 'game' as compatible. When you have that, that fine line becomes less of an obstacle and more of an oppurtunity to learn about the person you're with. We're bound to learn things we don't like about each other, have disagreements and moments we'll look up at the sky and say 'what the hell am I doing with this person'... then you remember, it slowly comes back to you why you chose to be with this person... they complete you.

12/16/2006 11:03 PM  

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