Got Game?

The theme of the last week seems to be all about breaking into your friend's inner circles for some action. I played into this a bit by upping the flirtation with a close friend's brother, and she in turn is getting together with a long-time friend who might as well be my brother. While alcohol played a large part in my willingness to indulge in my secret crush, part of what spurred her interest in pursuing my friend was seeing him and realizing that in her eyes, he's a bit more attainable than he was in high school - meaning he's no longer the chiseled football/baseball specimen of '98 (when she last saw him). He's rounded out a bit and she likes to joke that this puts him more in her league. While I don't agree with breaking things down like that in the first place, this whole conversation prompted my brother and sister-in-law to exclaim that she's the one that's out of his league, as he "has no game." Their reasoning stems from some conversations they had with him regarding his recently exed girlfriend. Apparently, he just didn't understand that she would want to, say, have dinner together sometimes, at her apartment no less. Somehow that was too much for him to take into account, and they felt his overall girl-meter was seriously off for someone his age (26).

This long diatribe leads to my thoughts on what it means for a guy to have game, as this would be the type of guy I would ultimately be attracted to and looking for in the long-haul (not a huge priority right now, but someday I'm sure I'll get serious about things!). I think having "game" probably varies from person to person - but it's unfortunately a very fine line that guys must walk (often unknowingly) between being totally clueless to a girl's wants/needs -or- being overly attentive to them (and thus appearing to be a complete suck up) -or- being too cliche/generic in their attention (and thus seeming disingenuine, even when doing the right things) -or finally- doing the right things for all the wrong reasons (as in, sure, I'll bring dinner, I better get a guaranteed night of sex/football/drinking etc.). Thing is, when a guy gets it right - provides enough attention to a girl's individual needs, plays the romance card a bit, maintains a level of confidence without being cocky, makes himself emotionally available but doesn't turn into a complete sap or codependent - a girl will do almost anything for him (and if she's got game, it will bring out the best pieces of her as well). That's true "game" to me - and it is unfortunately in exceptionally short supply these days...