Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Antagony rising

I just checked to make sure that antagony is not, in fact, a word. Damn. It's usage in non-word format is to reference my need to make myself feel even worse (or perhaps it helps?) about the fact that I haven't heard back from my traffic school love interest. I did a careless search for him on myspace, thinking he was honestly a bit too high brow and classy to be on there. And while he has a very simple page that indicates he's no slave to Tom's playtown (as I am), it did direct me to his own personal webpage, where I was inundated with every artistic endeavor/acheivement he's undertaken. Let's just say my being drawn to him is understandable - he's a designer, musician, photographer - all wrapped up in with a touch of practicality and business sense. I'm not sure if I feel better, in that he's clearly an uber-overacheiver (I like to think of myself as an overacheiver in training) and I can't really hold it against myself if I was boring to someone with such a broad range of interests/talents. Really, I'm not harping on me - It's just clear that this guy is a go-getter to the extreme, and I imagine he has a hard time finding his match in general. I'll continue to ponder/obsess/feel lame for a bit longer and then I suppose I'll get the hell over it, worry you not!

On another note, I spent some time talking to a good friend today who is 100% stuck in her relationship. She's been with her boyfriend for over three years, and he loves her to pieces. She, in turn, finds them as a pair "highly compatible." It's an uneven match on the love front, and on top of that, she's harboring feelings for an ex she left under the old Korean adage (or so she says) that you should always go for the man who loves YOU more. She's terrified of hurting her boyfriend but she can't commit, and they continue in this limbo-like state day in day out. She wears a ring but the wedding's been postponed a number of times, and he lives in fear of her ex calling and her actually responding. I think what it comes down to is she can't commit until she feels she's the one calling her own love shots. She left the last guy because she was convinced by her boyfriend - until she knows it's not right with the other one, and she's made a decision for herself, I don't think she'll ever be able to commit. They say all's fair in love and war, but this is a situation in which some hearts are gonna break across the board - but something simply has to happen. Living love in a static state is just about the worse thing that you can do in my book...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6/22/2006 11:33 AM  
Blogger megsfan said...

here is to unstatic states. i think i might have masted the unstatic state. that means i know nothing about meaningful sex, comitment or anything about relationships that might involve either of these things. megs keep on blogin. i love it. also if some dweeb trys to kiss you while you're doing all this dating clench your lips tight . . . it worked for me!

6/22/2006 11:34 AM  
Anonymous noah said...

'To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.'

-Bertrand Russell

2/13/2008 10:18 PM  

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