time marches on
I have hardly had a moment to catch my breath since I've been back stateside. Most of my immediate family is in town to celebrate my parent's 30th wedding anniversary (way to hang in there folks!) and we've been to Disneyland, Legoland, the pool, the beach, thrown back a few bottles of champagne and have our last visit to Mickey today. So the unraveling of my thoughts as I re-enter what should be a more familiar world than the one I left has been interrupted by Jedi knights, Disney princesses, cannonballs (the pool kind) and more alcohol than is polite to imbibe when in the company of nuns.
My point is, this is going to take awhile. And yet I feel a sense of responsibility to be able to package my trip up in a form I can hand to people and say, "here is some nugget of truth about life and humanity - do with it what you will." Or at least something to run with, a way to continue to support the kids I worked with, or the situation in South Africa (and throughout the continent) - the mission I was so drawn to when I got involved with the Africa Project. Maybe I need to grant myself a bit of patience, let everyone who has been back home fund raising carry the torch for a bit while I get my bearings - I just don't want to drop the ball now that I've had the chance to see it all first hand.
And oh the possibilities of next steps! Some require my attention right now, before I've even had a chance to tie up loose strings from this experience. I won't complain about possibilities - because there are many, and that's a freedom I am still getting used to granting myself - but what freedom it is! At the same time - while I've been gone people have gotten pregnant, engaged, married - the lives of those I love the most are evolving in their own ways and if I choose to remove myself from the nearby again I'm sure to miss even more. It's food for thought - figuring out what's necessary, what's selfish, what's the happy medium.
In the meantime - it's nice to be surrounded by family, to have this space once again to process it all and to be enjoying the SoCal sun once again.
My point is, this is going to take awhile. And yet I feel a sense of responsibility to be able to package my trip up in a form I can hand to people and say, "here is some nugget of truth about life and humanity - do with it what you will." Or at least something to run with, a way to continue to support the kids I worked with, or the situation in South Africa (and throughout the continent) - the mission I was so drawn to when I got involved with the Africa Project. Maybe I need to grant myself a bit of patience, let everyone who has been back home fund raising carry the torch for a bit while I get my bearings - I just don't want to drop the ball now that I've had the chance to see it all first hand.
And oh the possibilities of next steps! Some require my attention right now, before I've even had a chance to tie up loose strings from this experience. I won't complain about possibilities - because there are many, and that's a freedom I am still getting used to granting myself - but what freedom it is! At the same time - while I've been gone people have gotten pregnant, engaged, married - the lives of those I love the most are evolving in their own ways and if I choose to remove myself from the nearby again I'm sure to miss even more. It's food for thought - figuring out what's necessary, what's selfish, what's the happy medium.
In the meantime - it's nice to be surrounded by family, to have this space once again to process it all and to be enjoying the SoCal sun once again.
Labels: Africa, procrastination
posted by Mood Indigo at 10:48 AM
4 Comments:
That time after a big trip can be so great. If you have the luxury, spend some time in some places where you can just decompress and think. Even spending a few hours in a coffee shop with a book, journal, or laptop can be a good thing. Don't force anything!
Welcome back! And I'm looking forward to the return of your thoughtful and thought-provoking posts.
the [cherry] ride is correct. Enjoy being back, settle in, and I'm sure things will start to flow. In the meantime, I'll keep checking over here to see how life is going.
cherry - so true. I need to take a few moments and review my writing, review all the things I said I'd do when I got back and open up to what the right next step is.
Eve and GSR - thanks - so good to see you two here again!
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