Sunday, March 18, 2007

Today's the day.

I don't even know where to start. The last month and a half has been a whirlwind. I left my job, hopped on more than a few planes, did my best to catch up with everyone I could and give my head some time to clear after a few years on not-quite-the-right path. It didn't end up like I thought it would - I didn't surf quite as often, didn't get through all the research I've been putting aside for when I have a bit more time - didn't figure it "all" out - whatever that means. But I did learn to breathe easier about my future, to trust that gut feeling that this is the right thing to do - and most important, I realized that this really is home for me.

On Friday night my friends indulged me in a "Karaoke to keep from crying" going away party. The vast majority of the people who carried me through the past eight and a half years were here to help send me off on this next adventure. I looked around the room and saw one of my oldest college friends and roommates - now pregnant with her first child and singing her head off alongside my best friend from high school who recently moved to L.A. Two of my absolutely favorite people, sharing one of the things that brought us together - music - and having a ball. I sang Ryan Adams and let my roommate cry on my shoulder with three of my favorite women in all the world. I smoked a cigar with my best friend Eric, and took goofy pictures with my nephew (and he gets major kudos for loading up my new ipod, which Will at the Cherry Ride has suggested you all offer suggestions on a name for. I've been thinking of calling it "button" - thoughts?). We ate cupcakes until we were blue in the face, stayed up obscenely late, and I simply reveled in being surrounded by love and people who inspire me and who I know stand behind me in this step.

The past month or so has been incredible. I've been able to soak up the SoCal sun with a carefree heart. I've had my best friend who just moved to L.A. by my side for much of it - and as I type she's busy running around doing a number of little errands for me to get me ready to leave (in an hour!) and for that, I can't say thank you enough. The time with her before I leave has been grounding - a reminder that no matter where any of us go, we always end up back together and life is that much sweeter for those moments when we can live the day to day stuff together.

I have a letter on my bureau from my roommate. I know it's filled with words of encouragement, strength, love and the stuff of a friendship that will last a lifetime. I haven't been able to read it yet - I'm saving it for the airplane. Wish me luck!

With all this, and my parents helping me move, and so many words of encouragement and excitement - it's just been blessing upon heaping blessing. I must admit - there's an increasingly thicker layer of guilt I feel for leaving this all behind. Or perhaps it's because I know there have been so many times when I've taken this all for granted. Now that the day of departure is upon me, I know that I've figured out some of the most important things to life as it's meant to be lived. Friends, family, time together - holding each other up through the big stuff (and I'm being held up in so many ways right now) - it couldn't be sweeter. I don't know what radical shift I'm about to experience - it's scary and exciting - but my foundation couldn't be stronger. Clearly I don't lack words to try and identify this - but I know I'm not doing it justice.

I've got to sign off for now - I'm going to try and get some Africa links up when I get some time in an internet cafe. For now - I should be posting here: http://www.theafricaproject.com/megansjournal.htm (will be set up in the next week or so).

Sorry for this frantic sign off - I will miss being able to read all your comments and stay up to date on your blogs - I'll have a lot of catching up to do when I get back! Until then - be blessed on your individual journeys, and thank you for being a part of mine.

9 Comments:

Blogger Airam said...

Awwww ... way to make a girl all teary eyed!!!

You rock and I hope that this adventure will lead into another .. and another ...

3/18/2007 8:51 PM  
Blogger With Love, Fat Girl said...

What wonderful things to say....

May this journey take you into the sunset, and into your heart.

As for your ipod... Buzz Lightyear? Speaking of, I never named mine....

3/18/2007 9:01 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Stunningly beautiful, just like you. I wish you an experience you'll never forget (or regret) for the continuation of your journey. And I look forward to continuing to share in that journey with you.

3/18/2007 9:43 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Have a safe and wonderful trip! I can't wait to read about your coming adventures. Mine is named natapod, not too original.

3/19/2007 11:21 AM  
Blogger H said...

You are such a star. Have an amazing, beautiful time and we will all so look forward to your updates.
Good luck!

3/19/2007 11:27 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Megan - I just visited your journal. I'm so happy to be able to keep up with your day-to-day (or anyway, post-to-post) while you're there!

3/24/2007 4:39 PM  
Blogger With Love, Fat Girl said...

I don't know if you'll be able to access this at all, at least not for a long time, but I've given you a Thinking Blogger award. For further details see my April 2 post.

Other than that hope you're having a great time, learning lots and feeling more. Can't wait to read the stories when you come back!

4/02/2007 9:22 PM  
Blogger NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Hope everything works out!

4/06/2007 4:08 PM  
Blogger MontrealGurl said...

"When we walk to the end of all the light we have and take a step into the darkness of unknown, we must believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid to stand on, or we will be taught how to fly."
~ Patrick Overton ~

Wishing you an amazing journey Megan. *hugs*

4/06/2007 7:19 PM  

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