Wednesday, July 19, 2006

On flirting

Though my own love life is relatively stagnant right now, I continue to get approached by my dating-up-a-storm girlfriend for advice as she juggles a handful of potential suitors - some clearly within the confines of dating, others walking the fine line between "we're just friends" and "good God I want you." As she tries to determine how much flirting is too much with those guys for whom she can't quite get a read on, I revisit one of my more recent opportunities for flirtatious banter and wonder whether guys and girls read things at all the same way.

I have previously mentioned the guitarist for my new obsession, with whom I somehow managed to strike up a little myspace banter with. It started out pretty simple, "thanks for the add," "I like your music" yada yada, but managed to go beyond the initial exchange into what I considered a slightly more in depth conversation, involving a little personal history, discussion of photography, music etc. I don't want to misrepresent - it was still pretty harmless, but I allowed myself to believe when I got the following email, that at the very least, he was flirting a bit:


don't get me started on construction crews. i am currently living at the epicenter of all residential development projects on the west side of los angeles. no less than FOUR brand new buildings (large buildings) are being built. (wow - that was a lot of B's.). and all 4 are on my tiny block, with the biggest one about 35 feet away from my sleepy head. construction blows. nuff said...

your silly question is not silly. you are silly, but your question is not. you are actually the first person EVER to ask me about photography, or what i think about it. the fact that i have fooled you enough with my pictures to make you think i know anything about photography is cool enough for me. the truth is - i have a crush on photography, and i flirt with her, but we've never really hooked up. i'm gonna keep flirting with her, but music is my true love. music is why i think i'm on this planet. and music is all i ever want to be with. but photography is hot, and she smells good. so i flirt. sue me...

here's to hoping your vacation will be smashing. i'm from the SF bay area, so i fully approve your trip there. you have my blessing, meg.

and perhaps i'll see you tuesday. and perhaps i'll have a CD. and perhaps you'll buy it. per. haps.


Here's where my confusion begins. Guys - is that a flirty email? Was I a bonehead to read into it, and allow myself to indulge in an in depth response that included a little peak into me as a person (and not just a myspace facade)? My response has been deleted by the myspace gods, but it had something to do with a time long ago when I thought music was my calling, and now not knowing what my calling is, and perhaps some of us aren't supposed to have a calling but rather to make our mark in bits and pieces as we go.

He never responded directly to this, though I did meet him in person a few days later at a concert, where he gave me his CD (he said it would be weird to take my money). I then emailed a quick thank you and got a nice "thanks and hope to see you at the next show" response, but since then, silence. I dunno - I just wonder, did I misread what I thought was flirtation, thus sending out my own "i'm into you vibe" and thereby ruining the cool communication we had going on on just a friend level? Or, did some force totally outside of my realm of control (namely, Sara B. - who was getting cozy with him at the last show) suddenly take a different turn in his life and flirtatious interactions online were left in the dust?

Would love some feedback - which will be taken into consideration in future interactions and opportunities for interpreting the words/thoughts/actions of the elusive opposite sex...

PS - Speaking of which, just got back (this post was on hold today until I could get into myspace) from surfing in Doheny. Rode my first wave! That in itself was enough to kick any funk I've been in out the door. Also met a cute guy in the water, but being that I have no game, managed to ride in without even properly introducing myself. Le sigh.


Blogger Me:The Sequel said...

I'd have to say yes, the email is flirty - or at least I can certainly understand your reading something into it. It's not in-your-face flirting though and quite open to interpretation. (Hence your being bewildered by it).

Sigh. Men!

Forgive me for saying this, but, I vibed a can I put it... arrogance to his email. (but then again, I may be totally off).

I could say more - lots to say about men and their highly nuanced*** mating behavior - but maybe I should save it for a blog post!

***fucking confusing

8/02/2006 1:54 PM  
Blogger Mood Indigo said...

oh well, that's the good thing about being unattached - easy to apply the "on to the next one" approach when the "highly nuanced" behavior gets to be too much :)

8/02/2006 9:54 PM  
Anonymous blogless said...

Well seeing as no guys have replied which probably means you still have no clue about our ***fucking confusing (as me:the sequel so eloqently put it hehe) our mating behaviours are, I'll try and help out...

Actually his reply has even confused me!!! But he's an artsy type, not that there's anything wrong with that, but they tend to be 'different'. ;) But all in all I don't think he was flirting, really happy to have a new fan but not flirting.

One thing I know for sure from reading your blog so far is you're no bone head. :)

12/16/2006 11:24 PM  
Blogger Mood Indigo said...

thanks Blogless - I'm enjoying going back to these posts and reading your thoughts :)

12/18/2006 8:31 AM  

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