extreme highs...

...are always followed by extreme lows in my life. So right now, I'm caught up in a sashay of emotional dodging - avoiding the things I just don't have the strength to deal with. Instead, I'm shopping like crazy - not spending much money, but indulging in the high of amazing deals and the immediate gratification that accompanies them. I'm starting new things, but not following through on those that preceded. I'm surfing the web, but not catching up on emails. I'm providing physical comfort, but no emotional attachment. There is joy interwoven throughout in the depth of friendships and relationships that weather whatever highs or lows I experience. But in general, I think I'm coming to terms with being a bit more on "hold" than I'd like to be. Hmm.