a definitive list...attempt
I've had ideas about all sorts of things to write lately, and I'm choosing to go with potentially the worst one.
I think we all, in some way or another, have a "list" that defines our dream perfect partner. I have always tried to ignore said list, fearing it a bit idealistic, and the sort of thing that would set me up for failure. Still, as I've made my way through relationship after relationship, some sticking points and key ingredients seem to carryover. Some have taken a breather between partners, others I find consistently in anyone I find myself remotely attracted to.
I figure now's as good a time as any to acknowledge these things I like and have been drawn to in past partners, and some I have yet to find but covet for their potential.
1. Music - not just an appreciation, but a means by which to make it
2. Treasuring of family - both his and mine (imperfections accepted, not ignored)
3. A desire to see and experience the world outside our everyday lives
4. A motivated compassion - a willingness to respond to need, rather than judge it
5. The ability to say sorry and not lose his masculinity
6. Someone who is funnier than me, but still finds me interesting
7. A man of faith - not that of dogma but who'd be willing to hit his knees if life ever called for it - and who credits God with the good, and asks for guidance with the bad
8. Someone who can lead, but doesn't have to in order to feel strong
9. A man with confidence (nothing sexier), and a sense of humility to balance it out
10. Someone who recognizes his emotions and why he makes the choices he does
11. A guy who can build and fix stuff
12. Someone who can hold his own in a social situation, with new people and especially my friends
13. A man who knows how to really kiss, and likes it!
14. Someone at least one of my best friends proclaims, "this is the man you're meant to be with," because it's just that obvious and they see something different in us.
15. A man who believes in a true purpose for the life he was given.
16. Someone who skis, snowboards, surfs or all of the above - these things must be shared!
I'm sure I'm forgetting something in dream man version 1.0, but this feels like a good list to get out of my system. Maybe he's out there, maybe I've already fond him and don't yet know the significance of such things - or maybe my real dream man will blow all these things out of the water.
Anybody willing to share their own list?
I think we all, in some way or another, have a "list" that defines our dream perfect partner. I have always tried to ignore said list, fearing it a bit idealistic, and the sort of thing that would set me up for failure. Still, as I've made my way through relationship after relationship, some sticking points and key ingredients seem to carryover. Some have taken a breather between partners, others I find consistently in anyone I find myself remotely attracted to.
I figure now's as good a time as any to acknowledge these things I like and have been drawn to in past partners, and some I have yet to find but covet for their potential.
1. Music - not just an appreciation, but a means by which to make it
2. Treasuring of family - both his and mine (imperfections accepted, not ignored)
3. A desire to see and experience the world outside our everyday lives
4. A motivated compassion - a willingness to respond to need, rather than judge it
5. The ability to say sorry and not lose his masculinity
6. Someone who is funnier than me, but still finds me interesting
7. A man of faith - not that of dogma but who'd be willing to hit his knees if life ever called for it - and who credits God with the good, and asks for guidance with the bad
8. Someone who can lead, but doesn't have to in order to feel strong
9. A man with confidence (nothing sexier), and a sense of humility to balance it out
10. Someone who recognizes his emotions and why he makes the choices he does
11. A guy who can build and fix stuff
12. Someone who can hold his own in a social situation, with new people and especially my friends
13. A man who knows how to really kiss, and likes it!
14. Someone at least one of my best friends proclaims, "this is the man you're meant to be with," because it's just that obvious and they see something different in us.
15. A man who believes in a true purpose for the life he was given.
16. Someone who skis, snowboards, surfs or all of the above - these things must be shared!
I'm sure I'm forgetting something in dream man version 1.0, but this feels like a good list to get out of my system. Maybe he's out there, maybe I've already fond him and don't yet know the significance of such things - or maybe my real dream man will blow all these things out of the water.
Anybody willing to share their own list?
posted by Mood Indigo at 12:02 AM
8 Comments:
Homegirl has to be able to sing the entire song to "Salute Your Shorts" but without stuttering or looking up lyrics.
That's quite a list. I am sure you'll find someone though. Humor is tops on my list. Also still trying to be nice to me when I am at my crabbiest.
The infamous ideal partner list, I find that after every relationship my list gets closer to becoming reality. So much so that after my last relationship I’m not sure what else to expect because it was just about as close to ‘perfect’ for me as it could get. Even if it’s getting harder and harder to meet someone that fulfills my list without comparing them to what I once had and them continually coming up short, I’m not one to settle for less so I stay confident that she’s out there and that our paths will cross.
In the spirit of sharing our lists here are 2 of the corkiest entries on mine, she must have cute feet, (yes seriously!) and like to simply make out, you know like when we were young and that kissing was soo special. So obviously being a good kisser is way up there. :)
so@24 - classic.
Natalie - I know, too long, but heck - why not throw it out there :)
Noah - I've been enjoying your comments - how'd you end up here? I think a good kisser with cute feet sounds like an ideal woman too!
MI- Thanks, I enjoy reading your blog also. Got here by chance I guess, I visit some other blogs that you're linked too.
And I don't agree that your list is long, heck most people look for cell phones with more features or cars with more options then you're looking for in a partner. And when you think about it, it's ridiculous, we’re talking about the person we want to spend our lives with. Why shouldn’t we put some though behind who and what we want, taking the time to actually look and find that special someone instead of going from relationship to relationship just to be with someone because you can’t deal with being alone. I'd rather be alone looking or waiting for the right one then being accompanied by 5 wrong ones hoping the right one will come along. But to be bale to do that I need to know what the ‘right’ one consists of, which is where my list comes in handy. :)
But I digress, just my .02.
Well I digress, just my .02. :)
It is said that if we were to ask God for everything we wanted we would greatly short change ourselves.
You'll find that when The One comes along there is nothing that could have prepared you for them. No list to qualify them against. You too will experience the 'we just knew' and it will be a feeling you won't be able to quantify with words.
You asked that your Man Version 1.0 be a man of faith, that '...credits God with the good'... have faith Megan, he's out there. I believed and I know this to be true because I have found mine.
Good luck, Friend.
Anon - this brought tears to my eyes when I read it this morning. You are so right in terms of not limiting what God might give you by attempting to call the shots. I see this more as a guide anyway - something to keep focus but by no way definitive!
I appreciate your encouragement and am glad you found Mr. Right yourself (do I know him???)
You speak mostly to hope - which has certainly become the theme of my life lately :)
Thanks Megan. I have been working on the hope and faith bit for quite some time.
I have a question about one of your links and read some of your past posts, can you email me at
janejones05@gmail.com?
Thanks :)
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