Friday, December 07, 2007

loss in action

She's my friend, and she can't stop crying. She's had her heart broken, her worst fears realized and it caught her totally off guard. I don't know what to say, what to do, I'm tip-toeing around trying to respect her needs and not knowing what they are. And how can I not know? I KNOW that pain - I know the devastation of the relationship you've put EVERYTHING into falling apart. How did I get through it? My self-preservation mechanism went into full effect last night when she came home in tears - I'm so afraid of confronting THAT pain again - not even in myself, but the fact that it exists at all. It's almost worse when it's happening to someone you love. All I want to do is say "It will be o.k., you'll get through this," but it's too soon for that. The shock needs to subside first, and I don't know what to say in the meantime.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

I think everyone flashes back to their own worst similar experience when confronted with others going through it.

You are (not surprisingly) being a great friend just by being around.

And, wow, could this comment be any more obvious?

12/08/2007 5:17 AM  
Blogger Airam said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your friend is going through this. It's something I wouldn't wish on anybody.

12/09/2007 7:58 PM  
Blogger Polyacrylamind said...

Ah, the pain. i think its important to feel the pain of broken trust. as guns n roses said...when you're high you never want to come down...

i think the reality is that when you experience something very beautiful like love you are bound to experience the ugly like hate, jealousy, etc...its the price you pay for the good times.

12/11/2007 7:41 AM  
Blogger Mood Indigo said...

Thanks guys - she's being so strong, and most importantly honest about the fact that this is going to take a long time to get through - but she knows how much she's loved.

12/11/2007 9:28 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

So sorry for your friend. That is the worst pain you can ever have.

12/11/2007 10:51 AM  
Blogger Eve said...

Oh no! That sucks.

Bring over some ice cream, paints and paper so the two of you can do food and art therapy.

12/12/2007 11:05 AM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Have you tried, "There's other fish in the sea?" That's a tried and true , bullshit phrase that doesn't make people feel any better. Try it anyway, just in case.

Sorry about your friend.

12/12/2007 10:10 PM  

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