Friday, June 22, 2007

just part of my makeup

The last two days have been amazing. I answered a craigslist ad to make a couple hundred bucks working a two-day trade show, and ended up getting a job for the summer that I can do from home and actually make some decent money at (to fritter away on a language course at, say, the Sorbonne this fall). I also visited all my old co-workers to share about my trip, and it was nice to be back without the weight of the wrong career hanging over my shoulders! Last night I drank some wine, showed a few friends pictures and listened to my favorite South African music, feeling good about where I'm at and next steps.

So why did I wake up this morning and feel like crying? It's just how I'm made I think. With every high, there's a little low to counteract it, to keep me even keel, maybe keep my head out of the clouds. I used to question it, beat myself up for being a bit down for a day when I have no reason but to be up, up, up. But now I know - this is just how things work for me - and it doesn't make the excitement of new opportunities any less authentic, it just means I need to schedule in a little down time around high-energy times.

And hey, I'm starting to feel better already.



Blogger Heather said...

I'm so glad you're back. This was, as always, a lovely post.

6/22/2007 12:42 PM  
Blogger Grad School Reject said...

Sometimes I think people suffer (myself included) because they don't take time to cry/vent/expel some of the stuff that otherwise gets bottled up. You sound pretty healthy to me :)

6/22/2007 3:30 PM  
Blogger Airam said...

You've done so much these past few months that it's been like a whirlwind. We're only human and even when things are going great we have our moments of wanting to cry. It's healthy. I'm a big friggin baby sometimes!

6/22/2007 7:55 PM  
Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

We don't question why Megans are Megans.

We just appreciate it.

6/23/2007 5:37 AM  
Blogger Mood Indigo said...

heather - Thanks, I'm glad I'm back too!

GSR - I agree, it's amazing when your body just tells you, "let it OUT."

Maria - it's actually when I'm most thankful to be a woman, because I know this is just how we're made! Well, at least some of us!

Peter - That is quite possibly one of the nicest things I've ever heard :)

6/23/2007 1:12 PM  
Blogger restless_river said...

Missed a thoughtful post while you were out there. But I did get to read an awesome journal of your days with the kids of Nkandkla. It is so heartwarming to read about the good things you've been doing for these kids. I too work for and among children in my country...and it has been amazing :)

6/23/2007 8:05 PM  
Blogger Mood Indigo said...

Thanks for keeping up on my adventures in Nkandla RR - I hope your own work with kids is going well!

6/24/2007 11:39 AM  
Blogger Princess Pointful said...

I've been having a serious dose of those random blue mornings this summer... and I'm trying to do the same, just accept them and not worry too much.

Though I surmise that the sunshine would help get rid of them rather quickly.

6/26/2007 3:31 PM  

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