just an ordinary day

...Dexter asking about me before his nap, my mom flying to Russia to move my brother and his family home after 15 years, my dad calling to confirm plans a few weeks down the road that will take me back to my musical roots, a new friend whose divorce just finalized, a visitor from England, an email (finally) from Kenya, a friend with a new spot post cancer that needs a biopsy, seeing a dear friend prove that Hollywood can make dreams come true, climbing tonight, the eternal to-do and stopping midpoint to wonder at it all...

some things never change

In the midst of putting together my formal application for school in Kenya (I have a scholarship, but must now gain admittance to the grad program), I came across the following in a past reference from a college professor:

"We’ve spent many hours in my office discussing both the state of the universe and the thesis of her papers. She has so many good ideas that sometimes she has difficulty settling on one. In other words, she has excellent academic ability and creativity, but still needs to work on organization, and mostly, on her confidence in herself. Her confidence in her paper-writing ability has grown, but she’s not quite there yet. She’s good but she doesn’t always believe it."

"...she has excellent academic ability and creativity, but still needs to work on organization..." I feel like this summarizes my entire life, in one succinct little nutshell. Oh, and confidence, don't get me started.

on gained awareness

Say, for example, you're holding your nephew as you get him ready for bed. You're in the kitchen, the electric kettle is on, the glass bottle in hand ready to warm it up. You're walking between the sink and the fridge, talking to him, giving him a heads up that it's almost time for bed...we're going to sing some songs, have a bottle and call it a night (he likes to be prepared). Say that in the midst of this activity you surreptitiously pass a little gas, assuming that it will be lost in the shuffle and heck, he's only 19 months old, how big of a deal might that be?


A noticeable one, to be sure.

To Zen, or not to Zen?

Living at home has its perks. Take, for instance, the variety of reading materials I am offered each time I use the restroom. My mom has a little basket filled with magazines and quirky books (most at least three years old) right next to the toilet. Included in the selection are a special (collectors!) edition of People Magazine's "30 Years of Seeing Stars," The World's Shortest Stories (55 words each) and an assortment of Country Living magazines and Carmel Visitor guides.

Each time I get back from a trip I find a new addition in the basket (thank God, because I've pretty much made my way through everything else, and 3-year old Country Interior schemes can only hold my attention for so long). This week it was "The Little Zen Companion" which I have been enjoying for its wisdom, and sometimes, oddity. Because while I can get behind "When you meet a master swordsman, show him your sword. When you meet a man who is not a poet, do not show him your poem," by Lin-Chi, I'm just not sure what to make of this, "so much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens." Really? Does so much depend on said wheel barrow? This bit of zen mastery comes to us from William Carlos Williams - not your typical zen master from the sound of it (I could tell you more, but his Wiki entry is just too long to be bothered with).

"I have nothing to say, I am saying it, and that is poetry." - John Cage