on being human

Over and over, I have tried and failed
after which I took a step back
Smacked myself around with enlightenment
Gained some wisdom
And was lonely in it

People say I am hard on myself
and I am
Because I think somehow I should be above it
Should be better at being in it
Should know myself more by now

Every once in awhile I have a moment
where I let myself be human
And it's not quite as lonely
even though I'm in the dark

coasting

The drive home started with a wrong turn
around the road I wanted to take I came to the park I'd always wanted to see
with the subtle voices of song in my ear
I skirted this too

aware of the clouds that formed a textured seam between the brightness above and the muted rays below

I drove on taking it all in - the sights, the sounds - the changing light as a circle of birds danced above me
just ahead

Close to home I drove the row of trees that remind me of my true love
and set my site upon the lone palm at the end
in the spot where the birds were before