Monday, July 02, 2007

I was not cut out for phone-lovin'

Now now now, don't you jump to conclusions - this is not a post about phone sex. It is a post about how hard it is to carry on a relationship over the phone. It's not awful, it's just that my unique self-diagnosed ADD and the family I now live with ("Meg, are you on the phone" (as she looks at me holding the phone? "Tell (redacted) I say hello! Is he coming for Christmas? How's France?" etc. etc. etc.) make it really hard to focus. Combine that with the language barrier (which in person is practically non-existent, but somehow over a trans-continental phone connection is glaringly obvious) and it just doesn't flow 100% of the time. And then I feel guilty because for now, this is what we have by way of communications - and while sometimes all that matters to me is that I get to hear his voice, at other times I struggle to make substance of a few minutes of trying to cram in all that a relationship in the flesh entails (again, NOT about phone sex!). I think I need to do better about setting aside specific times where I can close my door, shut off the distractions and just focus on this man who makes me melt when he looks into my eyes. I can't see them, but if I close my own eyes, I know they're there.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

An intercontinental relationship is always a tough animal. No matter how soft the pillow snuggle is it just never quite feels the same (not a sexual reference). I feel for you. I've been there and it is definitely a trial worthy of Jobe.

Random Guy

7/02/2007 4:58 PM  
Blogger Airam said...

Awww ... that must suck.

Hopefully things can change where you see him as often as you talk to him on the phone.

7/02/2007 5:03 PM  

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