Tuesday, July 03, 2007

retreat

There's a moment when the static of life falls away and the soul you cover up on a daily basis is raw and exposed to you, its owner. Its the energy that attracts people to you, that causes them to walk away after meeting you feeling as if a golden ticket has been passed into their hands, and yet for you it is always a bit too far off to recognize. You glimpse it sometimes through the gifts of others - a beautiful song, a well-told story, a generous heart - you're reminded of that strength inside you, the blood that courses through your veins only. The ancestry and chromosomes that combined to make you: complex, daunting, spectacular. And in that moment, perhaps brought on by fatigue, the throwing up of your hands to the chaos around you, or sometimes at the end of something - a dear friend's life even - you find that core that everyone else sees so easily. You let the tears fall, you raise a glass, you retreat to a beautiful room you've created to explore the music that swirles inside you and so rarely has a chance to come out in its purest form.

I rarely see you at these moments, rarely have a chance to hear those notes unobscured by your anxiety and self doubt. Unlike you, I always know they're there -and I find myself burdened by the resentment of such infrequent access.

Then I start to think about how I must be the same. A different chemical composition, sure - but capable of at least as much. And of course just as likely to let the static cover it all up, force others or worse, randomness - from the most infrequent of moments to the despair of loss - remind me of what's inside, remind me of what could be.

Labels:

5 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

This is really lovely. Yes, we're all amazing and unique. And we construct lots of walls between the essence of us and not just others but ourselves as well.

7/04/2007 8:49 AM  
Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

Wow.

Just... wow.

7/04/2007 12:51 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Great post. It is hard to be yourself a lot of the time but when you find people and places where you can let the real you out beauty happens.

7/05/2007 8:48 AM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

great post

7/05/2007 9:32 AM  
Blogger cdp said...

Beautiful. Beautiful thoughts, beautifully written. Just damn. Exquisite.

came to you via indie bloggers. and I will definitely be back -

7/05/2007 3:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home