2006: Black Jack - hit me

Ok - the title of this post is supposed to reference the oh-so-desirable of numbers, 21. In so many ways, 21 is a great number. Combine the legal drinking age (at least for us Americans) and a perfect hand at black jack, and you're unstoppable. So unstoppable, that it seems for men, this is the age at which they up the anti in the pick-up department, and their focus seems to be me. Seriously, I have been hit on by more 21 year olds this year than any other demographic. It started with the navy boy (who was actually 20 back then, but in a bar, so who'd a thunk it?), then a waiter I was this close to going out with, until his age creeped me out (it being shortly after the navy boy and me not wanting to start any trends). Then a random guy I danced with a couple of months ago, then the mother of all come-ons, Joe - who I stumbled upon at Trader Joes. By that point I had honed my ability to say nicely, but firmly, "Yes, 21 IS too young for me." While I don't think a 5 year age difference will be a big deal later in life - in your 20's, it's somewhat huge. And in your early twenties, even huger. And if it's a younger guy vs. a younger girl - say no more.

I'll pause for a moment to share about this Joe guy - he was bizarre to say the least. As I was doing my Sunday grocery shopping, enjoying the eye candy that Trader Joe's often offers, I happened to glance up from the tortilla chip labels I was scrutinizing and catch this extremely young-looking guy's eye. "If you think I was staring at you," he said, "I was. You look exactly like a girl I went to college with." I asked him where he went to school (I later regretted starting the conversation) and found out he went to Brown, but had left sometime after his first year as his father had become ill and he needed to help out with the family. In the ensuing conversation (conversation being a bit of a misnomer as I listened to his life story and occasionally interjected when I simply couldn't believe my ears, like when he said that he learned a lot in college, including the fact that "All gay people aren't totally promiscuous and practicing unsafe sex." I had to give him kudos -incredulously- for that grand epiphany. Glad the ivy league taught him something). I heard all about his conservative upbringing, how he didn't like college because in their attempt to be different and assertive about their beliefs, everyone ended up just typecasting themselves (I agreed to a certain extent with this - but he left while kids were still in that 'setting myself apart' stage - I think the whole college process takes you through that, he left before he saw any of the maturing that hopefully follows) and about his various opinions on race, taxes, national defense and education. All this peppered with continued requests to go to dinner with him, that 21 was not too young, especially if he was the 21 year old in question - as he's quite mature for his age and already looking for the perfect wife to compliment his sure-to-be exemplary future in which he is a CEO or CFO (and certain millionaire - this is Newport Coast, afterall). Mind you, he's not looking for a woman who wants a career of her own, he needs someone who will be willing to nurture their children and balance out his strong, un-emotional personality. He mentioned many times his confusions about emotions and how he knows they exist but philosophically he can't really explain them and he doesn't quite know how to let them play a role in his life. ALL THIS IN THE CHIP AISLE AT TRADER JOES, while countless cute, older and slightly less ODD gentleman passed by - none having the wherewithal to step in, grab my hand and offer a sympathetic, "honey, I've been looking for you, let's go pick out some bananas" and then strike up a charming conversation as we do pick out bananas, culminating in a real date being set up with this dashing stranger (oh wait, that only happens in movies? Damn.)

The latest in the string of 21 year olds was a guy at a country line dancing bar Friday before last, and a guy at a hip hop show I went to this past Friday night. They could have been the same person - they used the exact same lines, both repeatedly asked me to kiss them (within moments of striking up conversation) and marveled at my beauty even though I've weathered 26 whole years on this planet. The one this past Friday went so far as to suggest I'm looking for someone to settle down with and have kids, when I held firm to 21 being too young for me and suggested I'm looking for someone my age or older. "I just wanna have fun and hook up" he said. Exactly. Been there, done that - will likely do it a little more, but for the love of God - with men that are at least within a few 365-day cycles of myself.

If life is a game of black jack, it's been dealing me routine hands of 21 - and if It weren't against the rules of the game, I'd still say "hit me" and be happy to go bust.