meandering
I have spent this weekend exploring possibilities and wondering on just how much I have yet to learn. Every new experience I have I think I am applying some past understanding or experience and coming up with a new interpretation - when in fact that very experience is instead providing new perspective and changing what I thought I had already found resolution on in some previous moment.
Suffice it to say, date number 2 was yesterday. Day time dates are kind of challenging - they strip you down to you and him - there's no romantic lighting or wine to fall back on. It's still too early to really ponder this all that much - but I am trying to figure out just how early those defining moments might show up. Should I be on the look out for deal breakers or should I take it as it goes? For now I'm more preoccupied with first moves - what's my move and what is his? And if we're both overly cautious, will we miss the moment?
Suffice it to say, date number 2 was yesterday. Day time dates are kind of challenging - they strip you down to you and him - there's no romantic lighting or wine to fall back on. It's still too early to really ponder this all that much - but I am trying to figure out just how early those defining moments might show up. Should I be on the look out for deal breakers or should I take it as it goes? For now I'm more preoccupied with first moves - what's my move and what is his? And if we're both overly cautious, will we miss the moment?
posted by Mood Indigo at 1:11 PM
11 Comments:
mood! these dates sound lovely (if your metaflection is not approximating a chess match somewhat[date. date. checkdate]). in the upstairs paragraph you speak of hermeneutic process (i am fond of this: revisitation of experience thickens our understanding and strengthens/dispells true/false association) while in the downstairs you speak of singular moments.
to answer all your epilogical questions: i think you should trust yourself. there's obviously the difference between thinking that and doing it, i know, but if you're editing and sporting at the same time as him, you might find you two get over-complicated over-quickly. good relationships are nearly always simpler, no?
as MontrealGurl said a few ago, 'one date at a time'!
Well, Mood if I can give the counsel you have given me on so many occasions back to you I think the answer is that it doesn't matter what you do (within reason.) The outcome of these interactions will be whatever the outcome will be-so in the meantime sit back and enjoy the ride.
-Protecting YOU from meteors
I would agree with S'Mat and the anonymous meteor-protector, there is not much you can do other than go with your gut and take each date at a time. Just enjoy. :)
I completely agree. I'm dating a new guy and here are some things that are working for me.
Take it one date at a time.
How right have you been at predicting what a relationship will turn into? Don't over analyze or try to define what the two of you are.
Be honest with yourself.
Listen to your gut - Amen Zura!
Let go of the outcome and simply enjoy him and the time you have together. If it's meant, so it will be.
Have fun Megan and keep us posted :)
I'm a really big fan of taking it one day at a time. Nothing that I have ever pushed has worked out.
S'Mat is right -trust yourself, sister!
If you take it more than one day at a time you will mess with the space time continuum and crew things up for the entire planet. Just go slow and enjoy the moments. They are great!
Wow - y'all must have sensed my neuroses kicking into high gear yesterday. I may have jumped the gun a bit but I think I'm back on track. Thanks for all the feedback - it's really, really helpful!
You ask if you are going to miss the moment if you are both overly cautious. It reads like you are kind of missing the moment now. What's this preoccupation with his moves and your moves? Since when did moves become involved in dating? Just go with the flow of it. Leave the moves at the door and maybe you'll catch a good vibe.
s'mat nailed it by comparing your date to a chess match (date, date, checkdate). I believe you should read a little about Ockham's razor and let that experience provide you with some new perspective you can apply to dating. Dating isn't about checks and balances. It is about getting to know someone and, if you are lucky, falling in love.
How does one get caught up in the moment when they are seemingly preoccupied with gamesmanship?
Random Guy
I think that if you are making any mistake it is deciding too soon that you can't have wine on an afternoon date. Wine is always a good idea.
Random Guy - great thoughts, again. I think the moves came into play when I was getting all my follow-up inquiries from friends. "Did you hold hands? Did you kiss?" If you go by what makes other people comfortable or interpret something a certain way, it's easy to question how things are unfolding. However, being the only one actually at the table - this isn't a great approach. What can I say - I'm learning!
GSR - I knew someone was going to call me out on that ;)
how exciting! I agree with everyone else, just go with it.
Also, if you are looking for something amiss or wrong, you will find it. Coming from an overanalyzer here.
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