How to impress a girl: part III (finale)
I knew I had to do it. I'd come across someone in a perfectly movie-like situation. He made me laugh and laughed at my jokes before we even met in person. He knew my hometown, and better yet, he felt more at home there than in the location we both found ourselves. I had to ask him out.
I still had some insurance policy questions so I left him a message a few days later. When he called back I was careful to mention I had three questions for him (since only two of which were policy related) - I knew this would keep me from whimping out. I got through the first two questions and the banter started to die down... "Ok, I have one more thing to ask, not related to my car." "What's up?" he said. I breathed in and did my best to ignore the shortness of breathe I was rapidly experiencing (I'm having a sympathetic experience as I write this - that's how significant this was to me). "I just wanted to see if you'd like to grab a drink sometime?" I could hear him smile. And then he told me he had a girlfriend.
He knew what I was going to ask. The chemistry was there, after all, and he was an absolute sweetheart (and true gentleman if I might add) as he told me about her. "She lives in San Francisco, doesn't she?" I asked. We'd talked about him visiting up there a lot so I knew it was a possibility. He told me he would totally take me up on the offer if he wasn't single - he'd had a great time talking and thought I was a great girl. A consolation prize, sure, but I didn't care, I knew he was being honest.
So the purpose of this latest missive is to let all you guys out there know, that if you are authentic, if you engage a woman in conversation or offer to help her out - even the most timid of us will respond if the chemistry is right. I was totally disappointed that this guy that fell into my lap was taken - but asking someone out point blank was a major step for me. And though I spent a bit of time lamenting that "all the good ones are already gone" - I'm over that. He just called about my policy and we caught up about our plans and had all the same rapport from before - and it was just another reminder that great guys are out there - even if they're sometimes already making someone else happy. So bypass the cheesy pick up lines and be real, and look for the girl whose eyes sparkle when you chat, or who even in the face of a totally stupid mistake manages to laugh it off because something about you just makes her feel good.
I still had some insurance policy questions so I left him a message a few days later. When he called back I was careful to mention I had three questions for him (since only two of which were policy related) - I knew this would keep me from whimping out. I got through the first two questions and the banter started to die down... "Ok, I have one more thing to ask, not related to my car." "What's up?" he said. I breathed in and did my best to ignore the shortness of breathe I was rapidly experiencing (I'm having a sympathetic experience as I write this - that's how significant this was to me). "I just wanted to see if you'd like to grab a drink sometime?" I could hear him smile. And then he told me he had a girlfriend.
He knew what I was going to ask. The chemistry was there, after all, and he was an absolute sweetheart (and true gentleman if I might add) as he told me about her. "She lives in San Francisco, doesn't she?" I asked. We'd talked about him visiting up there a lot so I knew it was a possibility. He told me he would totally take me up on the offer if he wasn't single - he'd had a great time talking and thought I was a great girl. A consolation prize, sure, but I didn't care, I knew he was being honest.
So the purpose of this latest missive is to let all you guys out there know, that if you are authentic, if you engage a woman in conversation or offer to help her out - even the most timid of us will respond if the chemistry is right. I was totally disappointed that this guy that fell into my lap was taken - but asking someone out point blank was a major step for me. And though I spent a bit of time lamenting that "all the good ones are already gone" - I'm over that. He just called about my policy and we caught up about our plans and had all the same rapport from before - and it was just another reminder that great guys are out there - even if they're sometimes already making someone else happy. So bypass the cheesy pick up lines and be real, and look for the girl whose eyes sparkle when you chat, or who even in the face of a totally stupid mistake manages to laugh it off because something about you just makes her feel good.
posted by Mood Indigo at 3:00 PM
9 Comments:
That's so disappointing! It's like the guy in the office you think is single, who one day walks in with a brand new wedding ring on his finger and a smile to match. Damn.
But it sounds like you are keeping a good attitude about it - and congratulations on asking him out!
Bummer about the result, but so damn cool of you to do what you did. As a guy, I give you mad props for taking the chance and putting yourself out there like that. It isn't easy.
Kudos to you!
That sucks .... but at the same time, it's a step closer to who you're looking for.
A very wise person once told me that every guy we go through is a step closer to that person we will be with. So now you know that there is someone out there who is a an all around nice guy ... but the next time you meet him, he won't be taken.
Right on Megan! Good for you for being able to ask him out, though, that's awesome.
Fast track! Yay for you for having the guts to ask a guy out... soooo not easy. The next one will be even more fabulous sans girlfriend ;)
thanks all!
Airam - I totally agree with that idea - it's a nice positive spin on things that don't work out!
montrealgurl - I haven't been able to comment on your blog in two days - don't know why but blogger is definitely telling me it has a girlfriend right now, too.
yay for taking the first step. a commonly underesteemed fact is that guys really appreciate being appreciated too! being asked out is the greatest of compliments, and there's not too much to regret about it. its also edifying for the asker. well done..
sorry moodi, this isn't related, but i noticed you like Ender's Game. i'm still in the shallow end of all sci-fi (though, it's what i want to understand the most, especially with the ethical/humanist implications it gets to toy around with. like ender's game, they are basically war-games for the stipulative mind.. etc) i read another one by Card, Speaker for the Dead, and really enjoyed it. Not nearly as good as EG, but it played around with xenopromorphism enough to be absolutely fascinating. this and Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge has some of the most interesting aliens to pop up in a long while.
That's great, though. That's a hard thing to do, so I'm glad you got positive reinforcement (even if it wasn't the ideal kind) for going out on a limb. :)
S'mat - oh, Enders Game how I love thee. But...sci-fi in general is not really my cup of tea. I think the applicabilities (there's a made up word for ya) of Ender's Game far extend life on alien planets. It was actually recommended to me from a friend who helped rearrange the entire student government at her university to emmulate Ender's structure. If you haven't checked them out - Ender's Shadow and Shadow of the Hegemon are good too :)
The only other sci-fi I've ventured into is the C.S. Lewis trilogy - definitely worth a look.
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