A single gal navigating the holiday hoopla
I have yet to spend a Christmas with a significant other. Even when I was in relationships, my family was always in Monterey, and his was in the Bay Area or Southern California. When my siblings started to couple up this really started to get to me - the holidays are simply more fun when you have ALL your nearest and dearest with you. Facing my second Christmas as a singleton, I'm nowhere near as bummed as I was last year. In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to meeting up with friends up north to hit the town, and focusing my attention at all family events on the one and only Dexter.
The only area where my singlehood is really coming into play is in regards to the "office" holiday party. While I skipped my work party due to Allan's visit - my old boss is hosting a soiree at one of the local Ritz's (this is Orange County, one simply wouldn't suffice) and it's sure to be a holiday hoot. A decade+ of political aides coming together to celebrate a local elected on his way out, and to thank him for many years of being able to say we actually had a great boss, and believed in what he did (and he's not even the same political party as I am!). My only trouble was when I got the invite I realized that this is the exact type of event to which you're normally expected to bring a date. But was I invited with a date or not? It didn't look like it, but I didn't want to risk being the only one without another half at the Christmas ball. So I emailed my old supervisor and asked her what she thought, and the ridiculousness of the situation spiraled from there.
Apparently my old boss had specifically invited me as a singleton because he knows I am, in fact, single. EVEN THOUGH everyone else will be bringing a date (except for one devoutly religious secretary and another staff member who has never married). When prodded, he acknowledged that perhaps I would like to bring a date as well, and yes, that would be allowed because I'm, well, special. A few days later, however, I got an email from the other secretary saying, "sorry, the invite is for you and you alone - but we're going to have a blast!"...I paraphrase.
So, baffled and embarrassed by failing to retain any dignity whether I bring a date or not, I emailed the current chief of staff for a once and for all take on whether I should bring a date, and whether my old boss has lost all respect for me as instead of graciously accepting an invite to a swanky party, I managed to make a ruckus about whether I can bring a date and spend more of his money on wine and spirits (can I get an amen for an open bar?).
The final response I received:
"Megan, don't be such a dumbass. You are bringing a date and that is that. There is, nor has there ever been, a can of worms. (BOSS) realized he should have invited you +1 - what are you supposed to do, drive all the way to DP and then have cocktails and drive yourself home? There's fun for you. T, B and I are hoping you come up with a Hare Krishna or bounty hunter to liven up the evening."
Man I miss that office. So if anyone knows of any good bounty hunters who are free on the 14th, let me know. If not, I'm taking a friend who enjoys good food and drink and more importantly, will be willing to drive my drunk arse home.
The only area where my singlehood is really coming into play is in regards to the "office" holiday party. While I skipped my work party due to Allan's visit - my old boss is hosting a soiree at one of the local Ritz's (this is Orange County, one simply wouldn't suffice) and it's sure to be a holiday hoot. A decade+ of political aides coming together to celebrate a local elected on his way out, and to thank him for many years of being able to say we actually had a great boss, and believed in what he did (and he's not even the same political party as I am!). My only trouble was when I got the invite I realized that this is the exact type of event to which you're normally expected to bring a date. But was I invited with a date or not? It didn't look like it, but I didn't want to risk being the only one without another half at the Christmas ball. So I emailed my old supervisor and asked her what she thought, and the ridiculousness of the situation spiraled from there.
Apparently my old boss had specifically invited me as a singleton because he knows I am, in fact, single. EVEN THOUGH everyone else will be bringing a date (except for one devoutly religious secretary and another staff member who has never married). When prodded, he acknowledged that perhaps I would like to bring a date as well, and yes, that would be allowed because I'm, well, special. A few days later, however, I got an email from the other secretary saying, "sorry, the invite is for you and you alone - but we're going to have a blast!"...I paraphrase.
So, baffled and embarrassed by failing to retain any dignity whether I bring a date or not, I emailed the current chief of staff for a once and for all take on whether I should bring a date, and whether my old boss has lost all respect for me as instead of graciously accepting an invite to a swanky party, I managed to make a ruckus about whether I can bring a date and spend more of his money on wine and spirits (can I get an amen for an open bar?).
The final response I received:
"Megan, don't be such a dumbass. You are bringing a date and that is that. There is, nor has there ever been, a can of worms. (BOSS) realized he should have invited you +1 - what are you supposed to do, drive all the way to DP and then have cocktails and drive yourself home? There's fun for you. T, B and I are hoping you come up with a Hare Krishna or bounty hunter to liven up the evening."
Man I miss that office. So if anyone knows of any good bounty hunters who are free on the 14th, let me know. If not, I'm taking a friend who enjoys good food and drink and more importantly, will be willing to drive my drunk arse home.
posted by Mood Indigo at 2:06 PM
6 Comments:
I feel your pain on both sides. After years of perpetual singledom I never had a date to things where I felt I should have one. Now, when I do have a date, we can't spend the holidays together because it would isolate someone's family. I don't know how to deal. I think maybe all functions should be stopped to avoid such problems.
Hey girlie, I can probably get you a fellow stilt walking fire blower named Sno from our BM tribe... Let me know.
love,
hlk
natalie - good point, grass is always greener I suppose.
hanna - sno sounds perfect. he's even got a name that fits in with the holiday theme...
hahahaha. Invite someone who will encourage chugging and hit on people's +1s. Mwahaha.
But imagine this scenario: you have to bring your spouse with the drinking problem, monitor them all night, then carry them home after an embarrassingly drunken outburst. It can always be worse...
This is all types of BS Megs. You always bring great dates to your parties. I know I am bringing a great gal to mine ;)
Ah, the +1. Sigh. I think a Hare Krishna dressed up as Boba Fett would be a most excellent party date. You could ask him to get you a drink and he could zip off with his jetpack chanting "Haribo!". :)
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